Alternative title: A topic I really think you should avoid when on a date. But that's just my opinion, and what do I know?
When having a chat about birthdays, you let your date know that your brother has three kids. You then inform her that you’ve worked out your brother must have got lucky on at least two of his birthdays, based on the subsequent birth dates of two of his kids.
Without pausing for breath and without giving your date a chance to express her slightly grossed out thoughts on this (i.e. why would you even want to think about your brother having sex?), you then ask when her birthday is, so you can work out and let her know what month she was conceived.
Oh no.
No, no, no.
Look, I’m well aware that the stork didn’t bring me, or my brother and sister, bundled up in blankets and leave us for our parents to find. I do know how we came to be. I am not usually prudish, but like many people, even at the age of forty-something, I deliberately choose not to think of my parents having... doing… stuff. Ever.
They’re my parents.
My PARENTS.
My.
Parents.
Gack.
Ya know, I might on an odd occasion discuss something like that with my closest friends, for a laugh, after too many glasses of wine but on a date, with someone you just met? dating is such strange business.
ReplyDeleteYou went on a date? Go you!! :D
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would have thought that discussing any family members sex life whilst on a date was just not done. This of course covers/includes discussing your OWN sex life whilst on a date....
haha! loved this, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMarguerite: I was somewhat taken aback to say the least! You reckon dating is a strange business? More like a bloody minefield ;D
ReplyDeleteAmanda: Yes I did!
I responded in the exact way I've written in the post. He did look a bit surprised at my reaction and said that he thought most people considered it. I told him 'in that case, I'm not most people'!
FI: You're welcome - glad you enjoyed it!
I once dated a guy that started every sentence with 'This one time, when I was on mushrooms...' or 'This one time when I was on acid....'
ReplyDeleteI would MUCH rather have dated a guy talking about his parents shagging. He was such a douche. I'm sorry I wasted a whole week of my life on THAT guy.
Hi Bub,
ReplyDeleteHaha, it must be a man thing because my brother has done the same to me. He's born in September and so worked out that urm... he must've been... urm... you know, at Christmas! lol.
Not something you want to think about, is it. I'm not sure what went through his mind to even want to think of it!
Hmmm, can we safely assume there won't be a second date, or was the rest of the evening enjoyable?
ReplyDeleteOh, and EWWWWW about even hinting that our parents did THAT! Ewwww!
Kyna: Douchebaggery covers a lot of things, and in my case it was because he was talking about MY parents! Ew. Mushrooms or acid I think I could have handled - although maybe not if everything centred around them.
ReplyDeleteLiz: No it's definitely not something I want to think about! Perhaps it's covered in Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, but I wouldn't know as I've never read it. Maybe I ought to.
OMS: The evening was okaaay... right up until that subject came up. I definitely started looking at him sideways after that ewwwww moment!
My Girls have concluded that since, as their mother, I am not sexually active, I must have gone to a fertility doctor in order to conceive. Either that or have had sex a total of two times in my entire life and it was only in order to have them...they must think pretty highly of themselves.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for them every day but still, rather than planned I like to refer to them as OOPS! and Oh-Oh!
Nari: Well of course your girls would think you've only EVER had sex twice. My parents only ever did 'it' three times ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL - your last comment was spoken by our friends' son. When he learned about the deed, he turned to his folks and said, in horror, "GROSS! You did THAT three times!?!?!?!?"
ReplyDeleteBoys think about sex a lot...I don't know if I could really hold that against him...
My parents kindly informed us that my sister was conceived in the lounge room of their rental house while they were building the house we spent the majority of our growing years in.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great disservice to my sister as we later found out the rental house was demolished to create a carpark for a McDonalds.
We could, without a twinge of guilt, tell people that our sister was conceived in the carpark of a McDonalds.
I think we scarred her for life.
Melissa: Oh I'm well aware sex is on the male mind a lot, I just took exception because he brought my parents into it!
ReplyDeleteCGL: Bwahahahaha!