It’s time to get back to some sort of normality round these here bloggy parts, so let me start with a tip:
When you’ve got the raging hump and you decide to take it out on something, rather than someone, and you opt to tackle the three foot plus high stinging nettle forest that’s sprung up from seemingly nowhere in the garden at the side of your house to try to get rid of said hump (and nettles), don’t fling a handful of them while standing facing the wind when it’s blowing a hooley.
Because the wind will fling them straight back at you and you’ll end up with a face full of the buggers.
And they fucking hurt.
I consulted Google for remedies for stinging nettle rash – the obvious one being rubbing dock leaves on the affected area. I wouldn’t recognise a dock leaf if one came up and bit me on the bum, so that was out, although with hindsight I could have Googled that too.
Another one was to make a paste out of baking soda and water and apply it to the rash immediately after being stung. A quick rummage through my kitchen cupboards soon put paid to that idea – no baking soda. Ah, bugger.
The third idea, seeing as neither dock leaf or baking soda were handy, was to rub human saliva onto the affected area.
*blink*
I didn’t fancy the thought of standing there hoicking to produce enough saliva to cover my face. Nor, strangely enough, did the idea of knocking on a neighbour’s door and asking if they’d oblige really appeal:
Me: Hello Neighbour, I’ve been stung, could you lick my face please.
Neighbour: WTF??
Me: No, honestly, I Googled it. You need to lick my face.
In the end I settled for a cold, wet flannel.
There is never a dock leaf around when you want it, especially in my garden.
ReplyDeleteSo I use swear words and savlon usually works :) Hope the rash goes down soon for you.
Oh could you get Dopey to wash you face it may just get you to pass out for a while then when you wake up the stinging could be gone :))
better than asking them to pee on you ...that works too.
ReplyDeleteThistle: I was so careful as well - I was covered from neck to foot. Hmph. As for getting Dopey to wash my face - that would be a big fat no! Cat breath - gack!
ReplyDeleteYG: Bwahahahahaaaaaa! I wouldn't let anyone pee on me, let alone any of my neighbours!!
and, she's back. you know the internet tells me stinging nettle is all across Canada and yet I've never encountered it here. thank god.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what Dock Leaf is, but between the fridge and cleaning supplies have lots of baking soda. The "soothing remedies" almost sound like the ones used for chicken pox. How about an oatmeal bath? Just think, you could feel better *and* smell like maple & brown sugar!
ReplyDeleteMarguerite: I hold my hands up: I've been crap at this blogging thing lately. I think I had half of Canada's stinging nettles in my garden. Which might explain why you haven't come across any. ;o)
ReplyDeleteOMS: If I smelt like that I might find the neighbours want to lick me whether I ask them or not!
urgh I'm glad we don't have those nettles here,I don't think so anyhoo,nothing that would cover you in hives.
ReplyDeletesomething for you over at my blog when you're passing by pop in :)
Oh my, that sounds like something I would do. What I gather from a little home remedy web research is that you want something alkaline. Besides baking soda they suggested cucumbers and avocados.
ReplyDeleteI've been blog hopping. Started at On My Soapbox and landed here. Began reading backwards through older posts, got to "Goldilock and the 3 Twats. Have to stay now, because I laughed so hard I peed myself and can't get up for fear someone will see ;)
One question? May I PLEASE steal your cancer ribbon? I've lost a couple of dear friends to cancer and while I generally despise all those ribbon thingies as useless pieces of fluff, YOURS is perfect.
IWBY: They're a pain in the ass, or in my case, a pain in the face!
ReplyDeleteMS: Hello! Your cucumber suggestion has actually come in very useful this evening - I've been bitten on one of my hands and I'm now balancing a slice on the back of it, over the bite, as I type.
You've arrived here during a period of very little blog activity on my part - I'm just not feeling too bloggy at the moment, but I hope that'll rectify itself soon. I'm glad you enjoyed Goldilocks & the Three Twats and hope you managed to make your escape from your computer without anyone seeing you!
Of course you may use the cancer ribbon (she types magnamimously, even though she stole it herself from elsewhere *cough Kyna's blog *cough)
Lol and I thought the old adage was don't pee in the wind!
ReplyDeleteYe-aah, now there's a new one: Don't fling nettles into the wind, or you may get peed on ;o)
ReplyDelete