Hello to Sharon at Resistant But Persistent. ‘Daddy… my Daddy’ are amongst three of my favourite words to hear too, gets me every time. Other three-word combination favourites of mine are: ‘duck fat chips’ and ‘wine… large glass’. They get me each and every time, but not quite in the same way!
When Youngest Daughter left for the delights of Majorca earlier this year, after the initial oh-crap-my-nest-is-empty-wtf-do-I-do?-who-am-I? feeling, I adapted and readjusted to being on my own rather well.
She was only away for four months, but in that time I enjoyed the peace and quiet, the tidiness and…
…an abundance of toilet roll.
However, since she’s been back toilet roll has been disappearing faster than I can buy it. I'm mystified as to the amount that’s being used - a new roll lasts for what seems like minutes. WTF does she do with it? (No, I don’t mean that in the literal sense.)
Some people have things hidden away in their homes such as jewellery or money. Drugs even. Not me. Nuh-uh. I now have an emergency toilet roll stash. Every now and then I furtively check its hiding place, giving a sigh of relief when I find it’s still where I left it.
As for the rolls not in hiding, I’m giving thought to rationing it - “Number one or number two? Hmm… okay, you can have three sheets for that.”
Kidding.
I think.
When I delicately questioned her about it - “WHERE THE BLOODY HELL HAS ALL THE FECKIN’ TOILET ROLL GONE?!?” (from behind the closed bathroom door, when… well, I’m sure I don’t need to spell it out, but my secret hoard began immediately afterwards) – she told me her body is readjusting to being home. So I told her to readjust by not using half a roll at a time, but a lot less politely than that.
I was feeling a wee bit stressed.
Thank God for kitchen towel is all I can say.
Youngest Daughter’s return has also meant the return of her boyfriend, Mr Pot Noodle - he’s a great bloke and he has my full approval (apart from his discarded-in-the-heat-of-the-moment-then-forgotten-about wrapper habit. Eww. I’m still trying to look him in the eye for longer than a few seconds. Failing).
According to Youngest Daughter, Mr Pot Noodle is the one who messes up her bedroom.
Of course he is.
And I was born yesterday.
Oh.
A word of advice.
If you ever find yourself in the position of having to use kitchen towel in a place that’s not the kitchen, be careful…
…it’s scratchy.
What a timely post! Why I read just the other day that people should keep their old phone books. They take up a lot less room in storage than rolls of t.p. Something to consider, eh?
ReplyDeleteCrazy Car Man has a horror of running out of bog roll - I think there must have been some terrible shortage during his youth for him to be so scarred. We always - always - have 32 spare rolls of the stuff. As soon as one of the packets of 16 is breached, he's off down the village to pick up another.
ReplyDeleteHe's certainly not frugal with his use!
Hi Bubb! Hahah - great post I look forward to the tidiness I will encounter in a few years. I am most anticipating actually seeing the floor in my daughter's room - haven't seen it in years. I remember one of your older posts you showed your daughter sleeping in her room .... it looked just like my daughters room! Good luck with the toilet roll - if you run out, maybe Crazy Car Man will lend you some.
ReplyDeleteHah! I hate-hate running out of toilet paper. After having been forced to use the CARDBOARD TUBE on occassion, I now keep a good 5-6 extra rolls stashed in each bathroom all the time, much like Crazy Car Man. That's 30-35 rolls of TP in the house. Overkill? I think not.
ReplyDelete