...you make an 'oof' noise when you stand up.
...you go into TopShop (or the like), wander round and if you're lucky, manage to find one item of clothing that won't make you look like mutton dressed as lamb.
...you stop going into TopShop (or the like) when you go shopping.
...you start looking at clothes in Marks & Spencer.
...you start buying clothes in Marks & Spencer.
...pyjamas are comfy.
So are slippers.
As are big knickers.
...you start saying comfy.
...you don't wear heels as often as you used to because they hurt your feet.
...it's cold out and you don't care what you look like as long as you're warm.
...you start sentences with "when I was your age" or "I remember when".
...listening to Radio One is out. Classic FM, Radio Two or Magic are the new preferences.
...you hear a cover of a song and remark the original version was better, only to be told, "didn't know there was one".
...you spot a member of Showaddywaddy on the plane when you're working, tell the rest of the crew and all you get back are blank looks.
...you are told there's a current hip-hop singer on the plane when you're working and you give the rest of the crew a blank look.
...the music you like and grew up with are now classed as Classic Tunes, Old Skool or Oldies.
...you say you're going to watch a video instead of a DVD.
...you start thinking how nice it is when younger people display good manners.
...you get called dear by someone younger than you.
...it takes you days to feel right after a good night out when it just used to take hours.
...you're asked if you had a good night out and you reply, "it was alright, but the music was too loud".
...you start getting up earlier because pillow lines take a lot longer to fade.
...gravity becomes your enemy.
...you've got reading glasses.
...you start dying your hair because you have to, not because you fancy a change.
...you find a random grey hair where you really don't want to find one, but try to kid yourself it's a blonde one.
...you start taking a delight in embarrassing/grossing out your kids. See above.
Right, I'm off, got a hot cup of cocoa to drink and a Zimmer frame catalogue to browse through.
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