It's All Crap To Me - Or Is It?

It is official, I am pissed off.

The reason for my pissed offness is because during the night, some tosser has smashed a window in one of the vans I own by default, parked next to my garage. Not because they wanted to break in and nick stuff, but just because they felt like it, it would seem. Not only that, because of the position of where I live and where the van is parked, the asshole had to come down here specifically to do it.

The van was bought before we moved here to act as extra storage space for a load of Significant Other’s workshop contents, as there was no shed/workshop here. Extra storage was needed because the garage here was (and still is) full to bursting with more of his workshop and our house stuff.

Unfortunately Significant Other was too ill to make any use of the shed we had built, so it’s since been down to me to sort through all the items in the van and move them into the shed, which luckily, I did some weeks ago, in another moment of being naffed off.

Since emptying the van (which has to be scrapped), I’ve been using it to store scrap metal I’ve come across in the course of sorting through Significant Other’s shite useful stuff, which is how I know the lowlife who broke the window, didn’t do it with the aim of stealing anything.

Let me make something clear here, Significant Other was the love of my life. But man did he collect some crap during his lifetime. Crap that would ‘come in useful one day’. Crap that I now have to wade through and decide that no, actually, I’m not going to find seemingly endless amounts of spark plugs useful one day, nor what seems like hundreds of screwdrivers or even more than several socket sets. And that’s just a drop in the ocean. For the most part, I’m going through it all in fits and starts, as and when I feel up to it.

I am at my most productive when in a stinking mood and it’s better than taking it out on my nearest and dearest. That’s a little difficult to do these days at Empty Nest Towers, what with Significant Other no doubt applying liberal amounts of WD40 to anything that moves on the Other Side, Eldest Daughter unwittingly decimating the kangaroo population Down Under, and Youngest Daughter doing her level best to drink Majorca dry. That just leaves Grumpy and Dopey, but I can’t get a decent argument out of them, they just bugger off, curl up and go to sleep. Oh to be a cat. On second thought, maybe not, cats lick their arses.

I can ruthlessly clean a house from top to bottom in less time than it takes to cook a roast dinner when in the depths of a foul state of mind, but I much prefer being constructively destructive. Today it was the grass, front and back, that took the brunt of my ire. It was a daisy massacre - shame, as I like daisies. Oh well, they’ll be back.

With a very large dose of help from my parents today (who were in a good mood), part of the garden at the side of the house is also now beginning to reappear; amongst other things, ripping up a load of ivy that has been allowed to spread unchecked. Actually, calling it garden at the moment is stretching the imagination a tad too far - shit heap would be much more fitting. Steptoe’s Yard would appear immaculate in comparison.

However, as well as feeling mightily pissed off, I’m also feeling, for the first time really since Significant Other died, quite vulnerable. I find it extremely unnerving that someone has walked into my front garden and committed an act of vandalism yards from my house. This evening I keep leaving my computer to check all the doors and windows are secure.

Rightly or wrongly, to try and give myself a certain amount of peace of mind, I’ve found a Crocodile Dundee type knife that Significant Other owned and have placed it on the floor under my bed.

Perhaps not everything is crap after all.