Mahoosive Prawns

To add a little to my last posting, barbecue novice Poppercake has since declared himself, after his first barbecue consisting of a couple of burgers, to be The Barbecue King. In response I snorted and said, "in which case, that must make me a Barbecue Goddess".

In the course of our conversation, he asked me if prawns can be cooked.

Me: "Oh yes, mahoosive ones can."

P: "Mahoosive? Is that what they're called?"

Me (in an innocent voice): "Have you not heard of them?"

P: "No. Are they nice? Where can you get them?"

Me: "Oh they're gorgeous, they're bigger than tiger prawns, really tasty. Go to the fish counter in one of the supermarkets, Waitrose is probably your best bet, and ask for Mahoosive Prawns from Indonesia. They'll sort you out some, you'll love them."

P: "Cheers."

I expected a return call later, telling me he'd spoken to 'Er Indoors about mahoosive prawns and she'd put him right, but it never happened. Instead, I got a spluttering call a day later. Then 'Er Indoors took over and laughing, told me what happened.

Poppercake went to Waitrose, went to the fish counter and when it was his turn to be served, it apparently went something like this:

Assistant: "Hello, how can I help you?"

P: "Hello there, I'd like some Mahoosive Prawns please."

A: "I'm sorry?"

P: "Do you have any Mahoosive Prawns?"

A: "Er, we have tiger prawns."

P: "No, no, I want Mahoosive Prawns."

A: "Um, well, tiger prawns are quite big."

P (adamantly): "I don't want tiger prawns. I want Mahoosive Prawns, they're from Indonesia. Do you have any?"

A: "No sir, we don't sell Mahoosive Prawns from Indonesia."

P (a little impatiently): But I was told you'd sell them. If you don't sell them, do you know where I can get some?"

A: "Sir, there's no such thing as Mahoosive Prawns. Mahoosive is a way of saying really big. I think someone's been pulling your leg."


I have been promised retribution.